The Path to Kira Alexandria

Kira's Birthday

2008-01-19T23:49:00.001-08:00

Kira was born on Saturday, January 19th, at 3:36 AM. She weighed 6 pounds, 10 ounces, and was 19 inches long. We are told that she has a head full of beautiful black hair. We are also told that she is "perfect". D is doing as well as can be expected after a C-section. J is very happy and proud.

J & D have decided to parent Kira themselves. Kira will be our niece, and not our daughter. Ian is doing O.K. with the news. He has gone to Kira's crib a couple of times and has looked into the crib and said, "I love baby Kira". He is unable to fully express his grief, but he is doing O.K. He knows that Kira will no longer be his sister. He knows that Kira will live with Aunt D and Uncle J. He understands that he will see her on occasion, and that she is not gone forever. Ian asked me if he could take his toy that he bought for Kira to her in the hospital. Jim and I told him that he could. We will be going to the hospital tomorrow so that Ian can give his present to his first cousin.

We will also be giving J & D all of the gifts that we have acquired for Kira over the past nine months. They will have a plethora of things from us: sheets, towels, blankets, clothing, pacifiers, pack-n-play, bouncy seat, bathtub and supplies, hamper, Boppy pillows, toys, bottles, and bibs. We are going to make every effort to make sure that J & D know that we still love them, and that we don't want things to be "weird" between us. Jim and I are broken, but God will mend us and lift us up. We know that He has a better plan for our lives, just waiting around the corner. I am excited about learning about God's plan for our lives.

J & D, if you are reading this, please understand that Jim and I love you. We love you without pretense or justification. We love you because Jesus Christ loved us enough to die on the cross and save us from our sins. We love you because God calls us to love our neighbors as ourselves. If we were in your shoes, we would want our brother and sister-in-law to not be mad or angry with us. We are not mad, and we are not angry. We are grateful to you, J & D, because for a time, you gave us hope. You gave us a purpose to keep going on. When we had our miscarriage in May, we thought that our journey for having children was over. And then, you gave us something to look forward to. We love Kira with all of our heart, and we know that she will have a wonderful family, in you, to live and grow-up with. We hope that you will see that Jim and I are NOT the kind of Christians that you have witnessed in the past. We do not say one thing, and mean another. We love you because Jesus loves us. And Jesus loves all of us - even you. We hope that you will see His love through our ability to forgive and forget. We hope that you will allow yourselves to experience the love of Christ, and perhaps, join a church in your area. We would love for you to spend eternity with us in Heaven someday. We love you so much, and we would really miss you if you were not in Heaven with us rejoicing at the end of our days.

This will be the last entry on this blog. It has been a wonderful journey of hope and longing. We ask that anyone reading this will pray that J & D will have peace and wisdom in the years ahead - so that they may know how to parent Kira to the best of their ability. We also ask that anyone reading this blog will pray that J & D will come to know Jesus Christ as He was meant to be known - as a God who LOVES them, no matter what, just like Jim and I love them - no matter what.

I leave you with this: (Romans, 8:1-14) New International Version of the Bible

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus, the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned the sin in sinful man, in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.

Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. the mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life, and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.

You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature, but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.

Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation - but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, and you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God."

Goodbye Kira. We will miss you as our daughter, but we will love you as our niece. We know that you are in good hands. We love you.

Love,
Aunt Kris, Uncle Jim, and Cousin Ian

Countdown to Kira

2008-01-15T20:01:00.000-08:00

Do you know how many days are left until Kira's due date?

12!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TWELVE!!!!!

I can't believe it! Where did the time go? It seems like just yesterday that J & D were on the phone saying that they were unexpectedly pregnant and wanting to know if Jim and I would be willing to parent their child........then, BOOM!........Now, we're 12 days from Kira....OR LESS! Unbelievable. Totally unbelievable.

In our household, the bottles are washed and the armoire and changing table are organized and stocked. The crib is set-up and the formula is in the cabinet. The nursery is decorated, and Ian says his prayers every night: "Dear God, please help Baby Kira grow healthy and strong, so that she can come and live with us and be my little sister." (How cute is THAT?)

This Saturday, some ladies from our church are throwing us a bonafide baby shower. I hope that we will be able to attend the shower! Today, at D's appointment, there was some speculation that perhaps her doctor may want to schedule an induction. If this happens, we will know more on Thursday at D's OB visit. I suppose that D could be induced as early as this Thursday, or as late as next Friday. Either way, we're going to have a baby VERY soon! WOW!

I walked through Kira's room last night and touched all of the things that we have collected for her. I hugged her teddy bears and straightened her crib sheets. I rocked in the chair sitting next to the windows, and I opened a box of wipes just to smell the scent of artificial baby powder that the manufacturers sometimes pump into the packaging. The idea of having a baby in that room was surreal - like a dream.
As I thought about how eerily quiet the nursery was at that time (12:00 AM), I also became keenly aware that Kira's room would not endure many more nights of silence. This thought made me the happiest woman in the world......

After three years of wishing, wanting, praying, hoping, begging, asking why, feeling broken, feeling "abnormal", questioning, anguishing, and making infertility treatments the core of my daily routine - it's finally almost over. I am actually going to be a Mom to a beautiful baby girl in less than two weeks. I am going to have daughter. My son is going to be a big brother at last. All of my greatest dreams are about to come true!

How did I get so lucky? Why am I so blessed? I don't deserve all of this, but I am SO thankful to God and to J & D. God knows the struggles that Jim and I have been through in our long battle with infertility. He knows how horrible our darkest days have been. J & D know that they are giving their daughter a loving home - but I wonder.....do they know that they are giving us a joy that is so complete - so incredibly healing - a joy that surpasses any life event that we have encountered thus far? I don't know that they could possibly comprehend how much Jim and I have wanted another child to love and to teach. I don't think that they could possibly understand the pain that we have experienced in thinking that Ian would be our only child. I don't think that they really know just *HOW* much their little girl is going to be loved by me, and Jim, and her big brother. Do they know that they are giving away a part of themselves to make our broken hearts whole?

We love you, J & D! (((((Hugs to both of you, and Kira too!)))))

Love,
Kris

Kira's Christmas

2008-01-01T17:21:00.001-08:00

Our family had a wonderful Christmas season. Santa was very good to Kira, even though she isn't born yet! In December, Kira's room was finished, and her pink stocking hung on the mantle with the rest of the family's stockings. Ian took great pride in emptying Kira's stocking in her absence. Inside, he found:

1. A pacifier

2. A pacifier keeper (holder that keeps the pacifier from falling to the ground)

3. 3 pink onesies

4. Newborn diapers

Ian was so excited to see Kira's goodies. He helped us place her gifts in her room.

J & D were also bearers of gifts for Kira. On Christmas Day, J & D brought over a cute stuffed Siamese cat and a VERY SOFT white bear. They also brought over my favorite toy from when I was a little girl: a "My Little Pony" play set. We placed the pony set on top of Kira's armoire, and we placed the two stuffed animals in Kira's crib. They look so sweet sitting there, waiting for her arrival.

On Friday, December 28th, Kira gave us all a scare. D had to be admitted to the hospital because Kira wasn't moving about as she should. For a little while, we were all afraid that Kira would make her grand appearance 5 weeks early! Thankfully, when D was hooked up to the monitors at the hospital, Kira woke up and started doing her normal circus routine of flips and sommersaults. The doctors proclaimed her completely healthy and sent D (&J) home.

As a result of that scare, Jim and I realized that there are SO many things that we haven't done yet! We decided to make a list and to work on it every single day. Here is the list:

1. Call our new insurance company and the hospital and try to find out how we will be able to add Kira to our insurance, and how we will be able to discharge her from the hospital. We have to get the "on-call" pediatrician at the hospital approved by our insurance company prior to Kira's arrival.

2. Make room in our cabinets for Kira's bottles. Clean and sterilize the bottles.

3. Go through all of Ian's old clothes and pick out gender neutral outfits that Kira would be able to wear from 0 - 3 months.

4. Pack our bags for the hospital. If we are going to be staying in a room with Kira after she arrives, then Jim and I will need a bag packed for our stay in the hospital. Ian will need his bags packed for a stay with a family member. Kira will need her own bag packed with outfits, diapers, pacifiers, etc. We should probably keep these bags with us in the car. (We'll need to keep the camera and the camcorder handy as well!)

5. Get lesson plans for our substitute teachers finalized. When Jim and I are out on adoption leave, our substitutes will need directions to follow!

6. Buy more diapers and wipes! We have some, but not nearly enough!

Whew! That's not TOO bad, but we do have a lot to do! We are getting REALLY excited about Kira coming into our home now. We tell Ian everyday now how many days there are until Kira's due date.

How many are there now?

26!

We have LESS than four weeks now!!! WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-20T05:50:00.000-08:00

OH MY GOSH!!!!

Jim and I are SOOO excited! We are counting down the days and minutes. There are ONLY 38 days until Kira's due date!!! WooooooHooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We have moved all of the office furniture and our cats into the basement. The cats still have a kitty door, though, so they are not completely banished from the upstairs. We just keep the catboxes and their food downstairs. The old office is now starting to take form as "Kira's room". The walls are painted yellow. The baby furniture is in place. All that we need now is some newborn diapers, wipes, and to get all of the old bottles out of storage and wash them!!

We had a very kind offer from a friend at church. She said that she would give us her baby bouncy seat, her stationary play station, her girl clothes, and anything else that she has that we need. We are overwhelmed. We may not have to buy anything for Kira after all! As a result of this, we are going to be amending our baby registry at Babies R Us to eliminate the clothes, the bouncy seat, and the stationary play station. (Why ask someone to buy something that you can get in good condition and for free?) I know the woman from church - she is a former school teacher - and I am SURE that she would have taken immaculate care of her baby items. I just can't believe that she is going to GIVE them to us, when she could make money off of them in a garage or a consignment sale. Wow.

Christmas is coming - only 5 more days!!!! WHAT??!!!! My shopping isn't done yet, and I KNOW that my wrapping isn't done yet. I have to clean the house for two sets of family that I will be hosting on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I can't believe how much WORK goes into getting ready for Christmas. Jesus just had to be born and lay around in a manger. (Can I have that job?!) LOL.

Ian is excited about Kira coming to live with us. He has drawn a couple of pictures of Kira and himself together. It is always funny to see his drawings - poor Ian. We try so hard not to laugh. Really, we do. The latest picture was two stick men with enormous heads. One had two round circles for eyes, a circle for a nose, and a line for the mouth. The other had the same features, except to distinguish between himself and Kira, Ian added lines shooting out of Kira's eyes like the rays of the sun - those are her eyelashes. That is the sweetest picture. I have it hanging on my refrigerator.

D had an appointment this week. She is now 34 weeks pregnant. Kira is measuring a little small, (4.5 pounds), so the doctors want D to eat more and expend less energy. Because the baby is measuring small, D will now have weekly ultrasounds to keep an eye on the baby's progress. If for any reason Kira seemingly stops growing, they will induce D early. We'll keep you posted! This is starting to get incredibly exciting!

Please say a prayer for J & D. I can't even come close to imagining what they are going through in these final weeks. It has to be a roller coaster ride of emotions....I say prayers for J & D (and Kira) every day. Please join in those prayers as we draw closer to the day that Kira will be here!

Love,
Kris

More pictures of our sweet baby girl....

2007-11-25T19:39:00.000-08:00

Awwwwwwwww................sooooooo CUTE!!!!!

Introducing.............Kira Alexandria

2007-11-24T18:59:00.001-08:00

Our beautiful little girl. We are so happy to see her face. She looks just like D!!!! We are in love with her big, pouty lips and her chubby cheeks! We can't wait to meet her in person!

New Poll Feature

2007-11-18T17:52:00.000-08:00

Hello faithful follower's of Kira's Blog!

Blogger has just come out with a special "polling feature" which allows visitors to vote for answers to a specific question. I have placed a poll question at the bottom of this blog. Simply scroll down past the posts, and you will see a poll question above the picture of the newborn baby. Have fun voting!

Love,
Kris

Year of the Red Pig? - OR - Year of the Brown Rat?

2007-11-17T11:02:00.000-08:00

Will Kira be born in the Chinese Year of the RAT???????? The Chinese New Year begins in the U.S. this year on February 6th, 2008.

Oh my goodness!

If Kira is born late - February 6th or later - she will be born in the YEAR OF THE RAT!

I don't know about you, but RATS don't bring to me any fuzzy or warm feelings. I don't think of RATS as being pretty or "cute"! RATS don't say to me, "Petite, feminine, pink bundle of joy". Nope. If Kira is more than 8 days late, based on her due date of January 29th, she will officially be a......dare I say it????.....a RAT!!!!

Here are the characteristics of the children born in the Chinese Year of the RAT:

Being Born a Rat
Being born a Rat is nothing to be ashamed of. In China, the Rat is respected and considered a courageous, enterprising person. It is deemed an honor to be born in the Year of the Rat and it is considered a privilege to be associated with a Rat. Rats know exactly where to find solutions and can take care of themselves and others without problems. They use their instinctive sense of observation to help others in times of need and are among the most fit of all the Animal signs to survive most any situation.

The Sign of the Rat
Being born under this sign determines many talents, as well as other characteristics that may not be so commendable. Rats are very lively and need a lot of mental and physical stimulation. They can be calm and perceptive, but sometimes their brains can cause a mental restlessness, tempting them to take on too much, only to discover they are unable to meet their commitments. Rats are blessed with one of the best intellects going. Add to their intelligence a curiosity and a bright imagination, and they seem as sharp as a needle.

Rats in Leadership
The sign of the Rat is the first sign in the cycle giving Rat people exude great leadership qualities and are good at taking the lead. They don't mind a lot of responsibility and they demonstrate a strong presence that other people respect. For those with the Rat nature, status and monetary satisfaction are the greatest motivation.

Rat Facts
Smart, Magnetic, Well-liked, Affable, Quick-witted, Surreptitious, Selfish, Protective, Calculating

The 2008 Rat
Rats are spontaneous. Rats born in 2008 will likely adore change and travel and will be eager to start new projects or to take trips to exotic places. These Rats may be the most likely to change their occupations and residences more often than most, and essentially shun any kind of routine. They could be anxious and impulsive, but their zest for life will be quite irresistible. They will have the Rat's ability to get along well with others. Compared to other Chinese signs, Rats are likely to be more charitable, autonomous, and energetic and the LEAST self-controlled.

Health and Home
RAT HEALTH
The affect of the sign of the Rat is energetic, and demonstrates enough endurance to fight most any sickness. Yet, all Rats tend to be tense, full of nervous energy, petulant and prone to stress. Rats also harbor a bit of aggression; yet, they are usually able to control it. Yoga would benefit Rats by calming their aggressive natures and helping them manage stress.

At Home with the Rat
Rats make good homemakers who are always willing to do household chores. Rats are not usually interested in keeping up with the times, and it doesn't matter to them whether or not their furnishings are in style. What does matter is that their home is a refuge expressing warmth, comfort and vogue. Light blue is their color of choice for home decor. Because this is a sign of acquisition, the Rat person's house is presumably bursting with various knick-knacks collected over the years. Most Rats are cheerful, domesticated individuals who find happiness at home with their family.

Money and the Rat
Rats work better in flexible situations where they can be freely creative.Cunning and thrifty, Rats have a knack with money and are apt to save for rainy days. When capable, the Rat is a great money saver, and in strapped times he knows how to make something out of nothing or how to turn make things advantageous for himself. Although few Rats suffer financially, the Chinese have a proverb: They who pile up grain hoards have much to lose.

Suitable Rat Careers
Writers, Broadcasters, Actors, Advisors, Counselors, Lawyers, Politicians, Designers, Engineers, Managers, Directors, Administrators, Entrepreneurs, Musicians, Stand-up Comedians, Researchers, Historians, Race Car Drivers

Hobbies and Pastimes
Interior design, playing basketball, crafts, painting
Rats' Dislike: Doing without things they want, strict time keeping, any routines, being at the end of the line

Rats Make Friends Easily
Generally friendly and sociable, the Rat is one of the extroverts of the Animal Zodiac. Often, the Rat is lively and genial, and has a special gift for easing the minds of others. It is not surprising that Rats have a lot of friends. They are great speakers and intriguing conversationalists, and can generally find something to say on just about any topic or subject. Of course, there is always that renowned Rat lure that allows them to charm the pants off of people! To the people they love, Rats can be amazingly charitable, popular and supportive, and will go out of their way to be certain their loved ones are content. On the other hand, if the Rat does not like someone, he is considered fair game and can be used to achieve any and all of the Rat's desires. At the end of the day, though, the Rat is a loyal friend and will be there for his companions through thick and thin.

The Rat Infant or Child
Rat babies love to be loved and cuddled. When they are young, Rat babies tend to depend tremendously on their parents, but later in life they develop natural leadership qualities. During their baby years, Rats mature slowly, but gain momentum as they become toddlers. Eventually, they begin to exhibit active mentalities, so, in the early years, plenty of sleep is necessary. In school, the young Rats are eager to learn. It is then, too, that Rats begin collecting things, and like to fill their bedrooms with pebbles, shells and keepsakes of every kind. Generally, young Rats are smart little people who are artistic and literary students. They are well-rounded and many of them do well in sports, too. Being born in the first sign of the Chinese horoscope motivates these children to be pioneers and gives them a need to be first in line.

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O.K. I admit that it isn't very likely that Kira will be born under the sign of the Rat - but, it's a possibility. Ian was almost 5 days late!!! Kira would have to be NINE days late in order to born under the sign of the RAT.

So, then, what is Kira's sign most likely to be? Well......ummmmm......it's the PIG!

Here are the characteristics of the children born under the Chinese sign of the PIG:

The Pig is a fun and enlightening personality blessed with patience and understanding. People born under the sign of the Pig enjoy life and all it has to offer, including family and friends. They are honest and thoughtful and expect the same of other people. Pigs can be perceived as oblivious or gullible because they do care about others so much that they will do just about anything for a friend in need.

The Sign of the Pig
"Its better to give than to receive" would probably be the Pig’s motto. Pigs are more comfortable giving of their own time or attention than they are to ask others for it. They do not find asking for help an easy task and would rather carry the burden themselves. Pigs will do anything they can to maintain a sense of peace amongst family or friends. This can lead to a tendency to be taken advantage of, but Pigs basically forgive and forget everything. They are compassionate souls who simply want to keep the peace.

Pig Facts
Hardworking, Giving, Willing, Helpful, Materialistic, Gullible, Oblivious, Obstinate,
Active, Outgoing and Extroverted

Pigs breathe new life into everything they do. Pigs are vivid, motivated individuals who cannot be deterred from a goal once they have set it. They are emotional and passionate about their loved ones, their occupations and their objectives. They are bold and vivacious, unafraid to take risks despite the consequences. They make great bosses because they do work so hard and because they are so spirited. But don’t doublecross a Pig. They have the ability to be quite abrasive when things don’t turn out as they planned.

Pig Health
Pigs enjoy being around other people and so being alone for long periods of time can cause illness in a Pig. They also like to party and have a tendency to over do it at times. Because they do not get much exercise they also have a tendency to gain weight. A Pig’s stomach and intestines are prime spots for sickness because he tends to overindulge with food, alcohol or nicotine. In order to maintain a clean bill of health, Pigs should watch their diets, make sure they get enough vitamins and minerals each day and somehow work an exercise routine into their daily lives.

At Home with the Pig
Pigs have comfortable, friendly homes that just invite you in. As much as they love company you can believe their homes are going to reflect materialistic gains. Pigs like to show off assets and pay close attention to their decorations in their homes. They can certainly make something out of nothing; however, they don’t make cleaning or chores a top priority.

Pig Careers
Pigs generally do really well when they get to be creative. They usually do better at jobs where they can express themselves. They are enthusiastic about taking on new responsibility at work and jump in to give a hand to colleagues in need. Pigs are well-liked by co-workers because are so willing to help and they have an eye for detail that makes them quite invaluable to upper management. Pigs make excellent
doctors, caterers, students, dentists, entertainers, veterinarians, hotel managers, department store personnel, or interior decorators.

Money and the Pig
Pigs love to spend money. They have an eye for name brands rather than generics so they generally spend a lot of it. Pigs have a knack for being able to find a diamond in the rough. Although they can sometimes be thrifty with money, most of the time it is the reverse. Pigs should be careful; a rainy day may sneak up on them.

Pigs are Loyal Friends
Pigs are great friends to have on your side. They will nurture you, care for you and make sure you have everything you need. In times of trouble, Pigs are genuine friends who will give you the shirt off of their backs if you need it. They entertain their friends and host parties as often as they can. Any chance to gather n a social setting is enough for a Pig to have a party and most of the time, he doesn’t really need an excuse to host one. They are loyal and good-natured, always willing to lend a hand or an ear.

Pig Babies and Children
Pig children are joyous children. They giggle and twirl and are truly enjoyable to be around. These children love to play with other children and usually have many friends. They have confidence in themselves and in others.

Pig Mates
Pigs are great partners to have because they are so supportive and giving of themselves. They are happiest at home, so arguments about late nights out with friends are few and far between for the Pig and his mate. Pigs are wonderful companions, appreciative and caring. They are grateful for the things they have, especially a loving and healthy family. Once they choose a partner, they are in it for the long haul. Pigs do not like discord and will do whatever it takes to maintain a peaceful homestead.

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O.K., so my first reaction is that Pigs sound like pretty nice people! And for those of you who are interested, Jim is an Ox, Ian is a Sheep, and I am a Rabbit. J is a Rat, and I *think* that D is a Horse. Have some fun and google the Chinese "Year of the..." signs for yourself. It is amazing how accurate these characteristics truly are! I will add here, however, that I believe that the above information is strictly for FUN, and mainly, to poke fun at RATS - the animal, not the sign.

Love,
~Kris~

A Special Kind of Praise

2007-11-11T20:17:00.000-08:00

Today, after church, we had our usual 2nd Sunday "Young Adult Luncheon". I say those words in quotes because, really, the "Young Adult" group has members that are from 19 - 45, some married, some not, some with kids, some without, LOL. We are a group of about 16 different people that pretty much only have a love of Christ in common with each other.

Our pastor's wife pointed out a young woman in the congregation that has been to our church a number of times, but has never joined. She was sitting alone in the pews. "Invite her to lunch today," she said. My stomach did a lurch. I remembered the woman immediately from all of her previous visits. She is married, but her husband travels extensively. She is 32 weeks pregnant - I know this because the last time that she was at the church and I spoke with her, I didn't know that she was pregnant, and she announced it to me with pride. She is due on the very same day that the baby we miscarried at the end of May would have been due.

I looked at the pastor's wife and said, "O.K." (What else was I supposed to say??) After the service, I went up to the woman and graciously invited her to our "Young Adult" luncheon. I remembered her name. I called her by her name and said, "32 weeks, right?" Her eyes widened. She beamed from ear to ear. "HOW DID YOU REMEMBER THAT???" she asked, innocently. I lied and said, "I just have a really good memory." She stuck to me like glue for the remainder of the afternoon. Since I had "remembered" a detail about her life that so many others would have deemed nearly insignificant, she talked to me all about her nursery decor, her baby name choices, her child birth classes, her food cravings, etc. etc. etc. These were all things that only a few months ago would have driven me into the deepest depression/psychosis possible. * BUT *

- PRAISE THE LORD -

I didn't even flinch. I didn't bat an eye. I didn't ask to be excused, or pretend like someone else at the 16-person table needed to ask me a question. Nope. I sat there and listened to her trying her very best to make a friend - someone that she could possibly connect with if her and her husband decided to join the church someday. As we were talking, the pastor's wife looked over at me and gave me a huge wink - she was so proud - her plan had worked!

My ability to endure this kind of afternoon would have been NON-EXISTENT a few months ago. But, finally, after 5 1/2 months have gone by since our precious baby was born into heaven, I am so overjoyed at the prospect of our upcoming adoption that I was unable to be upset for myself. I didn't look at this woman's belly and mourn. I didn't think "that should be me" for the FIRST TIME in over five months. I didn't feel queasy, like I thought that I would. I didn't want to run away, like I thought that I would. I didn't say "no" to my pastor's wife, like I thought that I would. It is only because I have a newfound hope - the hope of parenting through adoption - that I was able to talk with this woman with all sincerity and love. I am finding more and more that I am no longer afraid of not getting pregnant again. I am more afraid of GETTING pregnant, because having a baby the same age as Kira would not be ideal. I have finally come to realize that, although there is not a baby in my womb right now, there is a baby in my heart.

God bless Kira Alexandria. We love you so much!

~Kris~

29 Weeks on November 11th

2007-11-10T20:18:00.000-08:00

On Sunday, D will be 29 weeks pregnant. Here are some interesting facts about the 29th week of pregnancy:

Week Twenty-Nine
Baby's head is in proportion with body now. She appears more like a newborn each and every day!

Fat continues to accumulate under the skin -- only now preparing for entering the *real world*.

Baby's brain can control primitive breathing and body temperatures.
Hers eyes can move in their sockets. Soon she will be able to follow a blinking light.

Baby is increasingly sensitive to changes in light, sound, taste, and smell! Various studies show that a baby at 29 weeks gestation may indicate preferences (or disdain) for particular tastes or odors.

She is also moving from side to side, but probably still is head up. In the next few weeks, she will move to the head down birthing position. At times, D may feel as if she is performing somersaults for a circus act!

Her length is now approximately 15.2 inches and weight is 2.54 pounds

Eyebrows and eyelashes are now very noticeable!

Hair on baby's head is growing longer. Some babies are born with almost none at all, while others appear to be ready for their first haircut!

Baby's body is getting plump and rounded. Most of that increase is muscle tissue and bone. Fat will be added during the third trimester.

Muscle tone is improving.

Lungs are capable of breathing now.

Talk to Baby often - reading stories, singing songs and more. She can recognize voices now!

Wow!!!!! The 29th week of pregnancy marked the beginning of the third trimester. Babies born in the third trimester have a very high rate of survival. Congratulations, D, and Baby Kira!!!! We're so proud of you!!

Jim, Kristina, and Ian

Dear God

2007-11-10T19:30:00.001-08:00

Dear God,

Thank you for my family. Thank you for the miraculous blessing of Baby Kira. Please help D & J to get some much needed rest as D enters into her third trimester of pregnancy. Please help J to take extra-special good care of D as she feels more and more fatigued each week. Please keep Kira and D safe from harm, and watch over Kira so that she can grow stronger and stay healthy. Please help all of our families to be able to process all the feelings about Kira's upcoming adoption in a positive way. Please send your angels to watch over D & Kira. Please help each family member to lose the thought processes of controlling and demanding, and to gain the thought processes of compassion and understanding.

I ask these things in Jesus'name,
Amen.

Three months to go...and our story of hope

2007-10-24T20:02:00.000-07:00

Halloween means something completely different to me this year than it did last year.

Last year, I was hoping and praying that I would finally be pregnant after two years of trying to conceive. I was full of hope that surely "THIS" would be the month - OUR month. As I watched the families with multiple children trapse through the neighborhood yelling, "Trick or Treat!", I wondered if I'd possibly have a baby in my arms by this time next year. I imagined what it would be like to dress a chubby-cheeked newborn in one of those cutie-pie "My First Halloween" outfits - perhaps a pumpkin with a little stem hat? I watched the other children run past with their siblings in tow, and I wondered then if I would EVER see the day when I would be able to provide a sibling for Ian. Would my son ever know what it was like to have a brother or a sister?

Fast forward to April, 2007.

After three years of trying to conceive, we finally DID! We were so excited. We picked out names immediately and told our families after our second trip to the doctor confirmed that our pregnancy was "real". Eight weeks later, our precious little one was born into heaven. We were completely devastated. I have never felt so low in my entire life - except for when my own Dad died. We wanted that baby so much. We had waited so long. We were already in love with the idea of being parents again. We couldn't believe that our miracle was FINALLY given to us, only to be taken away. Why? Why would God allow this to happen? And then, the answer....

J & D told us three weeks after our miscarriage that they were expecting a baby. My first reaction was that I wanted to throw-up. I remember thinking, "How am I going to get the words, 'Congratulations' out of my mouth???" (I somehow did, though.) I was NOT happy for them. I couldn't be. We had been through too much - three years of temperature charting, blood draws, reproductive specialists, endocrinologists, surgeries, hormone therapies, taking handfuls of fertility medicines, and losing weight - all with the goal of trying to help us to get pregnant. And, we had to endure the truth that our little baby had gone "home" to be with Jesus. I had to endure extreme labor pains in order to pass our child into the arms of our loving, eternal Father. Why? Why was God letting THEM have a baby and not US? And then they said it: "We were hoping that you would like to parent our baby?" WHAT??!!! I don't remember much of the conversation after that. I think that I kept shouting, "Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God!!!!" I'm not completely sure - I went into my own form of shock. It wasn't real. It couldn't be real..... Were J & D SURE that this is what they really wanted? Did I dare to open up my heart to the possibility of our dreams coming true? Did God choose to answer our prayers in a way that we had not expected? What would happen if J & D changed their minds? Would I be able to keep on going? Would I (mentally) be able to take two losses within a year? I didn't know. I waited for more details to unfold with a mildly guarded heart.

Fast forward to Halloween 2007.

I am full of hope again. This year it is a different kind of hope. I am no longer torturing myself by peeing on a stick each month to see if two lines miraculously appear, or going into my doctor's office to get my blood tested for the presence of a human growth hormone. Instead, I am awaiting a different kind of miracle. I am waiting for Kira. She will be here in just three short months!! Next Halloween, I will have a nine-month-old, chubby-cheeked, BEAUTIFUL baby girl to dress up in the "My First Halloween" pumpkin outfit. She will be loved and adored, and protected by her big brother, Ian, as we trapse around the neighborhood shouting, "Trick or Treat!". I can't remember the last time I have been this happy; our dreams are about to come true. Praise God! Thank you for this amazing gift. We are so thankful to you, our Heavenly Father, for allowing us to parent J & D's child. We are so thankful to J & D for allowing our dreams - our long-time dreams - to finally come true. Someone, please pinch me - NO - WAIT - If I'm dreaming, I don't want to wake up!!!!

New Crib Bedding for Kira

2007-10-22T19:53:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone!

I thought I might take a moment and let you know how proud I am of Jim. He has successfully bid on a crib bedding set on e-bay, and won! The set is worth $400, but Jim got it for $86! The nursery set includes 13 pieces! (That's $6.63 for each individual piece!) Go Jim!!!!! We are still planning to frame a Texas flag and hang it in the nursery.

~Kris~

Facts about 24 weeks gestation

2007-10-13T21:16:00.000-07:00

(Above is a picture of a baby at 24 weeks gestation.)

Week Twenty Four: Practices breathing

The child is now gaining around 3 ounces (90 grams) a week.
Baby weighs about 1.3 pounds and is 12 inches long.
Baby weighs about 600 grams and is 30cm (crown to heel) long.
The eyelids can be seen very clearly.
If born at this stage is officially considered viable, they may well be able to survive.
The baby is producing surfactant. This is stuff that keeps the small air sacs in our lungs from collapsing. The unborn baby is covered with a fine, downy hair and the skin is protected by a waxy substance. Some of this substance may still be on the child's skin at birth at which time it will be quickly absorbed. The baby practices breathing by inhaling amniotic fluid into developing lungs.

Baby gains about 3 ounces this week. The weight is in muscle, bone mass and organs. The body begins to fill out with his appearance increasingly becoming more like a newborn. Taste buds begin to form. If mom drinks something strange or bitter, baby may be observed showing his or her distaste.

Little creases have appeared on his palms. The muscular coordination of the hands has improved as they sucks their thumb. Over the next week or so, the sweat glands will be forming in the skin. The lungs are developing branches of the respiratory tree and cells that produce surfactant, a substance that helps the air sacs inflate easily.

After this week, a baby is officially considered viable. 36% of babies can survive premature birth at 24 weeks - However, serious complications are still possible.

Baby now weighs about 1.3 pound (600gm) and is around 12 inches (30cm) long.

D is 24 weeks now

2007-10-13T20:45:00.001-07:00

I know that D probably doesn't keep track, but she will be 24 weeks pregnant on October 14th. We are about three months away from having Kira at home with us! Time is just flying by! Woohoo!!!!!!!

This past week, Jim cleaned out the entire garage and the basement area. They are VERY clean now. We bought a very nice antique dresser at an estate sale to put in Ian's room when we get Kira's room finished. We have to get the computer desk and the filing cabinet OUT of Kira's room. We have to go and get her crib out of storage. We will probably get her room completed in November sometime. I have yet to have ordered her crib bedding. I also keep forgetting to take the Texas flag to be framed. I suppose that I am dreading the price on the framing - it's likely to be very expensive, and we really don't need to be spending money on such things right now. Having the money to bring Kira home from the hospital is more important than framing a flag to go with her room decor!

We are still praying for Kira and J & D every single night. We pray that Kira will remain healthy and strong until her due date. We pray that J & D will be able to handle their very mixed emotions when the birth takes place. We pray that they will feel a peace about their decision that will pass all understanding. We pray that this experience will bring them closer together, and not tear them apart. We love you, J & D!

Love,
Kris

Adoption Attorney News

2007-09-29T17:06:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone!

Wow! Long time, no post.....sorry y'all! I'll try to do better! Since my last post, Jim and I have met with an adoption attorney, Lauren. She specializes in adoptions, and we are very comfortable with her. We met with her on September 27th to go over all of the details of what Jim and I should be doing between now and our next meeting in November. Our homework includes:

1. Calling our insurance company to see how we can get Kira on our insurance while she's still at the hospital.

2. Getting a brand new physical exam with documents to be signed by our physician. (Both me and Jim)

3. Get a copy of our marriage license.

4. Get a copy of our birth certificates.

5. We were supposed to be fingerprinted, but the computer scan method is down in our county. Now, we will have to get fingerprinted on the old cardboard cards, and Lauren suggested waiting until mid-December to do this.

6. Collect/save/beg for $2800 to cover the cost of the attorney's retainer. She expects this sum to be paid in full by November 1st. We're not doing too bad - we have saved $2100 at this point. Only $700 more to go! YAY!!!!!!

7. Start an escrow account for J & D's medical expenses. These monies will be paid by our attorney directly to the medical facilities where the services will be rendered. We currently have no money to put into that fund, but we are hoping to save all of Jim's mileage checks and all of my jewelry show money to go directly to that fund. We estimate that we will have approximately $800 in that account by mid-December. We hope and pray that we will be able to do more. We need about $2500 in that account in order to pay all of the hospital fees and insurance deductibles. Only $1700 more to go! (Sigh.) We can do it!

That's about it as far as the legal aspects go. We don't have anything more paperwork-wise to do until we file for adoption when Kira is born. After that, there will be more paperwork on our end. At this point, we just have to keep our attorney informed about what is going on with D and her pregnancy. Our attorney will have to come to the hospital where Kira is born and have J & D sign some really important documents within 24 hours of her birth. (That is why our attorney wants to know how D is doing - she has to be ready to drop what she is doing and come to the hospital when Kira is born.)

This weekend, we went to a local church yard sale and got a TON of girls' clothes for just $25.00. There were at least 25 outfits in the bag that we took from that yard sale, and 4 baby hats. Almost all of the outfits were brand new. Some of the outfits were for 0 - 3 months, but most of them were for 6 - 9 months. I STILL love buying girls' clothes! It is just TOO MUCH FUN!!!!!!!! I get over-emotional every time that I look at the little dresses.....(happy tears).

~Kris~

Girl Clothes are SOOOO cute!!!!

2007-09-16T16:57:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh!!! Shopping for a little girl is SOOOOO much FUN!!!!! I have visited several consignment shops and sales, and have accumulated several froo-froo baby girl clothes. There is just something that is so sweet about a cute little pink dress. They are ADORABLE!!!

Over the past few weeks, Jim and I have had a consultation with an adoption lawyer. We are going to meet with her face-to-face on September 27th. We now know that there is a lot of paperwork that needs to be done prior to Kira being able to come home with us. We are diligently working every day on one preparation or another - even if it is just boxing up more stuff to make room in Kira's future room. It is so nice to finally feel *truly* happy. After three years of infertility, Jim and I had given up all hope of having another child. We are OVERJOYED now that we will soon have a baby girl in our arms. We are praying for Kira and for her entire family, every single day.

Kris

Thank you, God.....

2007-08-28T13:16:00.001-07:00

for little girls! AMEN.

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jim and I are SOOOO excited that we will have a little girl to spoil in January. We are going to a consignment sale this weekend, and Jim has made me promise not to spend our entire paycheck on pink items! It will be difficult, but, I *THINK* that I can restrain myself. Let's hope so......

J & D - Jim, Ian & I pray for you both every day. (Of course, we pray for Kira, too.) We just wanted you to know that you are loved and thought of every single day.

Lots of Love,
Kris

It's A............

2007-08-26T13:53:00.000-07:00

GIRL!!!!!!!!

We KNEW it!!!!!!!!!!!

And we couldn't be happier!!!

See you soon, Baby Kira!!!!

We love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mommy, Daddy, and Big Brother Ian

Humbled to be chosen, and, THREE MORE DAYS!!!

2007-08-25T04:43:00.000-07:00

I am SO excited that I can barely think of anything else. I wake up and go to sleep with Baby Noah or Kira on my mind. I can't imagine what it will be like after we know for sure whether we will be adding a son or a daughter to our family. I just can't wait!!! And, this is so special to me, because, if I were able to have a biological child, Jim would not have "allowed" me to find out the sex of the baby - so this is pretty much the only way that I would have ever found out the sex of one of our children BEFORE it is born! I keep imagining little chubby cheeks and brown eyes and dark hair. Even though I predict pink to be added to our household palette, I will be JUST as happy to welcome a little boy into our family. When I am out and about in our community, I see the pregnant bellies and the infants all around me, and I stop to imagine what Noah or Kira is looking like right now, and what he/she might look like in the future. I imagine teaching him/her all of the things that Jim and I have so lovingly taught Ian. I think about what it will be like to finally have him/her home with us - we won't be getting much sleep, but we will be perfectly happy. I won't complain at all. This baby is such a miracle, and I am in awe EVERYDAY that God knew just the right time to pull a miracle out of His hat for Jim and me. We are eternally grateful to J & D. We can't wrap our heads around their feelings, but we are so thankful to them for choosing life, and for choosing us to parent their child. Thank you (FOREVER), J & D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Baby Jesus....and FIVE MORE DAYS!!!!!!!!

2007-08-22T20:30:00.000-07:00

Dear Noah or Kira,

OH MY GOSH!!!!! ONLY FIVE MORE DAYS until we know whether you are a "Noah" or a "Kira". Of course, if Ian gets to name you, then you will be called "Jesus", LOL. (No, we're not REALLY naming the baby Jesus....) We told Ian that he will someday have a brother or a sister. He said, "Can I help? I can feed the baby! Can I hold the baby too?" We of course said, "Yes", and then we told him our choices for names: "Noah" and "Kira". "Kira" was a name that he liked right away. "I like Kira," Ian said. HOWEVER, he apparently wasn't too jazzed about "Noah". Ian said, "NO! Not Noah...Let's name him something else......Let's name him JESUS!" Jim and I looked at each other and then looked at Ian and said, "NO". Ian was pretty disappointed. Then later that evening, when it was time to say our bedtime prayers, Ian said, "Dear God, Bless J & D, and keep Baby JESUS healthy and strong." Jim and I just died laughing. We couldn't keep it in. Ian thinks that we should name his possible future brother - JESUS. You can't make stuff like this up. I wonder what is going through his adorable 4-year-old head sometimes? LOL!!!!! Goodnight Kira/Noah Alexander Jesus. (Just kidding!)

Love,
Mommy

Dear God

2007-08-19T15:28:00.000-07:00

Dear God,

Thank you for J and D, and for their tremendous love for Noah or Kira. Thank you for creating Baby Noah or Kira. Thank you for keeping Noah/Kira safe and healthy. Please continue to allow Baby Noah or Kira to get stronger and to stay protected for the next 5 months. Please be with J and D, and help them to overcome any obstacles in their lives that may be troublesome at this time. Please help all of the members of our families to be accepting of our unique adoption arrangement. Please help D to feel healthy and energized, and help J to know how to best take care of D as she now goes into her 5th month of pregnancy.

In Jesus's Name I Pray,
Amen.

Week 17, and EIGHT MORE DAYS TO GO.....

2007-08-19T14:35:00.000-07:00

17 weeks
(gestational age: 103 days / 15 weeks)
163 days remaining

Noah or Kira,

Only EIGHT days to go until we find out if you are "Noah" or "Kira"!! Wahoo!!
Currently, at 17 weeks, you are approximately 4.5" - 5.5" long, and you weigh in at 4-5 ounces. You are about the size of the palm of D's hand. You are also beginning to hear sounds as your ears are starting to stand out more. You can now hear voices and music! (Break out the Mozart, J.) You will begin to form fat this week. The fat begins to deposit under the skin and is important in heat production and metabolism. If D were to get an abdominal x-ray, your skeleton would be visible! Your movements are becoming stronger and more frequent now. Reflex movements are fully functional: you are able to suck and swallow, and loud noises outside the uterus may actually cause you to become startled. You are able to show the reflexive movement of sucking your thumb. This activity appears remarkably similar to thumb-sucking in newborns.

AMAZING!! We can't wait until the 27th!

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

We found it!!!!

2007-08-11T12:58:00.000-07:00

YAY!!!!! We FINALLY found it! This is the crib set that we have been searching for since we arrived home from Texas! Just imagine that the picture of the United States in the photo above is actually a nicely framed Texas flag, with the picture frame the same color as the wood of the crib.....Isn't that nice? This set is entitled, "Denim Star Crib Bedding" by My Baby Sam, and can be found at www.dreamtimebaby.com. It's expensive, but we'll save and get it. It matches the Texas flag! Now, we just have to put our plan into action. We need to get the office/baby's room cleaned out some more, have a garage sale, and get the crib out of storage. We're definitely getting closer!

We're getting so excited! :-)

Mommy & Daddy

At 15 weeks gestation.....

2007-08-02T11:26:00.000-07:00

Dear Noah or Kira,

I am sure that you could care less about HOW you are growing. Your only concerns are this point are whether or not D eats regularly, LOL. But, your other Mommy finds these things fascinating, so here you go:

How you're growing:
At around 4 inches long, crown to rump, you now weigh about 2 1/2 ounces. You're busy inhaling and exhaling amniotic fluid, which will help develop the air sacs in your lungs. Your legs are growing longer than your arms now, and you can move all your joints and limbs. That means that your hands are more functional, too. Sweat glands are appearing, and although your eyelids are fused shut, you can sense light. If D shines a flashlight at her tummy, you're likely to move away from the beam. There's not much for you to taste at this point, but your taste buds are beginning to form. And when your birthmom, D, has and ultrasound done on August 27th, we may be able to find out whether you are a "Noah" or a "Kira"! (We can't be too disappointed if it remains a mystery, though. Nailing down the gender depends somewhat on how clear the picture is and in the position of the baby during the ultrasound; Noah/Kira may be curled or turned in such a way as to keep us all in suspense.)

Love,
Mommy

Praising God for you

2007-08-02T11:15:00.000-07:00

Thank you, God. Thank you for miracles. Thank you for hope. Thank you for new life. Thank you for the opportunity to parent another child. Thank you for the gift of selflessness that J and D have given to their baby. Thank you for Noah or Kira. Thank you for keeping our baby safe until we can meet him/her in January or February. We praise you, God, for taking care of Kira or Noah, and we ask for your continued strength for J and D.

In Jesus's Name,
Amen.

25 more DAYS

2007-08-02T10:04:00.001-07:00

Until we find out if you are "Noah" or "Kira". WAHOO!!!!!!!!!

Remembering Pop-Pop Paschal

2007-07-25T21:53:00.000-07:00

Dear Noah or Kira,

Above is pictured a fantastic man that you will never know, but he was your Adoptive Mom's Dad, or, your "Pop-Pop". Pop-Pop died exactly two years ago today, and we still miss him very, very much. He could sing and play the guitar, and he loved the church choir. He was VERY tall - 6'3", and he was as gentle as a teddy bear. Everyone who knew him thought he was an engineering nerd and that he had a very quick, "punny" wit. In the picture above, Pop-Pop is holding your brother, Ian, when Ian had just been born. He was so happy on that day. Sometimes I wonder if you will be musically talented, like he was. Your birth father, J, and your grandparents on your birthfather's side all have a good sense of pitch. J even played in the high school band with me - and I have at least one picture to prove it. LOL. J and his old trombone - I wonder if he still has it? Maybe you can learn to play the trombone, too?

Love,
Mommy

Praises!

2007-07-25T21:31:00.001-07:00

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for the blessing of the wonderful news that Noah or Kira's heart is still beating strong and healthily! Thank you for helping D with her morning sickness - it's getting a little better now. Please continue to watch over baby Kira or Noah and keep him/her safe. Please continue to be with our families and help us all to know YOUR will for our decisions. Please help us to all be mindful of each other's feelings, and not to say or do anything that would cause anyone emotional pain. Help us all know what to do and say each day.

In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen.

Prayers for Everyone

2007-07-20T22:23:00.000-07:00

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for Jim and Ian and for our families. Thank you for J & D and for the miracle of Baby Kira or Noah. Thank you for keeping Kira or Noah safe for the first trimester of D's pregnancy. Please help everyone involved in this adoption process to know and to have the ability to do your will. Please continue to keep Baby Noah or Kira safe, and please help D to start feeling less sick. Please be with each of our families, and help each family member to make wise choices in what they say and do regarding the decisions that J & D make regarding Baby Noah or Kira.

In Jesus' name I pray,

Amen.

Aunt Carol and Uncle Jim

2007-07-18T14:13:00.000-07:00

Dear Noah or Kira,

This week, I'm writing to you from Santa Fe, Texas. We are staying with your Great Aunt Carol and Great Uncle Jim. That's Carol and Jim in the picture above. Of course, Carol and Jim's daughter, your cousin, Amanda, is also with us. And, visiting with us this week are your great-grandparents on your Dad's mother's side. Your Great Uncle Charlie and your first cousin-once-removed, Aaron, will come over on Saturday. Your brother, Ian, and Cousin Aaron are like peas and carrots. Ian calls Aaron "my best friend". They are sooooo cute together. They love to play with toy guns, cars and planes. They also like to ride on Uncle Charlie's 4-wheeler. Ian LOVES to ride "the motorcycle", as he calls it.

We think of you every single day. We talk about you and make plans for you. Today, your Daddy bought an enormous Texan flag to put on the largest wall of your nursery. We are planning to make the accents of your room in navy blue and red, in honor of the Texas flag. It will be a challenge to find decorations to go into your room, but at least we will have something to keep us busy while we are waiting for you to arrive during the next 6 months. We are all so very excited to bring you home - January isn't that far away!

We love you, Noah or Kira!

Love,

Mommy and Daddy

A Brother or a Sister?

2007-07-15T10:42:00.000-07:00

Dear Noah or Kira,

Well, it looks like we're in luck. When your Daddy and I asked your almost-four-year-old brother, Ian, if he'd rather have a brother or a sister, he thought for a moment and said, "I want a brother AND a sister." So, we've got you covered. You'll be happy to know that Ian just wants another sibling to play with, and isn't really concerned with your specific gender. At some point, maybe your Dad and I will be able to provide the other half of Ian's request. We'll see.

I know that your Daddy doesn't want to know what you are going to be, but I can't wait to find out. I especially want to know if you are a girl, because I want to go out and buy all the cute little girly things that I don't have. I do have one thing for you already, if you are a girl - like I think that you are! I bought a very tiny pink beaded bracelet that will fit you when you are just a tiny baby. Your Mommy LOVES jewelry, and this bracelet will be so precious for you to wear. If you are a boy, then I will have to think of something else, obviously. Your Daddy never wears jewelry, so that's out. I didn't get anything except maybe a small teddy bear for Ian when he was born. I will have to look for something a little more "boyish". Maybe J & D can help me out with this one. (I need some ideas, here!)

You should know that we think of you and pray for you every single day. We also hold up your birthparents, J & D in our prayers as well. Our sweet little Ian prays for you each night. He is already such a good big brother.

God bless you, sweet baby.

Love,
Mommy

Picture of Mommy and Daddy

2007-07-10T20:28:00.000-07:00

Dear Noah or Kira,

Hello baby! The picture above is of your (hopeful) future Mommy and Daddy. Your Dad and I hope that you are doing well. We are still praying for you every day, and for your birth Mommy and Daddy too. Tonight, I am writing to you from your Great Uncle Randy and Great Aunt Pauline's house in Grand Prairie, TX. We have been having a nice visit with them and your cousins, Malorie and Kevin.

We took your big brother, Ian, out to eat tonight at a local Texas burger place called "Buck & Loons". I watched Ian eat his chicken nuggets and chips, and I imagined what it would be like to have you there with us - to hold you in my lap and feed you a bottle between scarfing down bites of food. I imagined that your Daddy would tickle your chin and your toes, and that you would giggle and smile. I always imagine you with dark hair and eyes, and with a big grin on your face. You are always laughing in my dreams - you are always very happy.

Good night, sweet baby. Sweet dreams.

Love,

Mommy

Prayers from Portland

2007-07-06T09:21:00.000-07:00

Dear Heavenly Father,

Please protect Baby Kira or Noah and keep him/her healthy and safe during the next 7 months of pregnancy. Please help D to feel at peace more and more each day with her decisions. Please help J to know how to be most helpful to D. If it is within your plan, please allow J and D to consider free adoption counseling, unassisted by anyone in the family, so that they will be certain - without the shadow of the tiniest doubt - that they are making the best decision for all parties involved. I pray that if it is Your desire that J and D parent their own child, that you will make it obvious to them before we bring Kira or Noah into our home. I pray for Ian - that none of the events which are about to take place will harm or confuse him in any way. I pray all of these things in Jesus' name.

AMEN.

Writing to you from Baton Rouge, LA!

2007-07-02T20:49:00.001-07:00

Dear Noah or Kira,

Today, I'm writing to you from Baton Rouge, LA. I'm with your big brother and your Dad, and we've stopped for the evening at a local hotel on the way to see our "Gammy" in Portland, TX. We've spent all day in the car, and I have had a lot of time to think about you.

I suppose the most important thing that I've had to think about is getting used to your new names. Right now, it is very difficult for me to think of you as "Noah" or "Kira" instead of "Colin" or "Katie", but I am sure that with time, it will become easier and easier to remember the correct names. I just hope that these new names won't have to change anymore!

Personally, I can't wait for the day when we know what gender you are, so that we can drop the extra name. Your Daddy and I disagree about whether or not we should know ahead of time whether you are a boy or a girl. I would like to know what name you are going to be called, so that I can help get your big brother, Ian, used to the idea of having you in our home. Your Daddy doesn't want to know what gender you are, because he wants to be "surprised". ICK! I hate WAIT, and I definitely hate SURPRISES! Besides, if you are a girl - I have A LOT more things to get ready for you! I'd like to know ahead of time so that I can buy some girl clothes if you are a girl. Girl clothes are sooooooo cute. Your grandmothers will go CRAZY buying you clothes if you are a girl. If you are a boy - you've got it made, because I have saved every stitch of clothing that your brother has ever worn. We'll have no problem finding a Cowboys, Braves, Bulldogs, or Volunteers outfit for you to wear. That'll make all of your aunts and uncles very happy.

Love,

Mommy

Making Nursery Plans

2007-06-29T21:57:00.001-07:00

June 29, 2007

Dear Noah or Kira,

Today, your Dad and I went to Sherwin Williams to pick up the house paint that we will need for your nursery. The color of the walls will be about the same as the yellow in the picture frames in the nursery graphic above. The bedding set shown in the picture is the one that we hope to get for you at Babies-R-Us. After your room is painted, we will have to go to our friends Elizabeth and Dennis's house to get your crib out of "storage". You will love Elizabeth and Dennis. Elizabeth makes REALLY yummy cookies, and Dennis is really funny. Daddy and I can't wait to personally introduce you to them! We are so proud of you for gaining a heartbeat and for being so strong. Grow, baby, grow! We want you to see your room and meet your big brother when you're ready! You're doing great!

Love,
Mommy

Prayers for the Family

2007-06-29T21:37:00.001-07:00

Dear Heavenly Father,

I praise you for this wonderful baby, perfectly made. I praise you for the steady beat of baby Noah or Kira's heart. I pray that you will continue to help the baby to grow appropriately, and to keep D's health in good condition. I pray that you will be with the entire family, and that you will breathe your peace that passes all understanding into the minds of those family members that are the most closely involved with this adoption. I pray that you will help us all to understand your perfect plan for the life of this unborn child. I pray that J & D will not be overcome with worry, but will find comfort in their decisions throughout this pregnancy. I pray that the other members of the family will become more and more accepting of this unusual adoption arrangement. I pray that the actions that each of us take each day will be according to your perfect plan. Thank you so much for the opportunity to grow our family in this unique way. Please ease the minds of those who may be troubled by J & D's decision.

In Jesus's name I pray,

AMEN.

We have a heartbeat and a due date!!

2007-06-29T21:22:00.001-07:00

WE HAVE A HEARTBEAT!!!!!

YAY!!!!

June 29, 2007

Today, J & D went to the OBGYN to get an ultrasound done. The doctor found a very defined, perfect baby in a appropriately proportioned gestational sac with a very strong heartbeat. Praise God!

The NEW estimated due date is January 29, 2008! (Sooner than we thought!)

J & D are coming over to our house tomorrow to show us the ultrasound pictures. J says that you can really tell that it is a baby - and not just a blip on the ultrasound film. He seemed very excited that the picture is nothing like the one that Jennifer Aniston's character, Rachel, received when she was pregnant with Emma on the show, "Friends". (Rachel cries in the episode when she can't find her baby on the ultrasound screen.) We are VERY excited that Noah or Kira is healthy, and that D is doing well.

What a miracle!

Dear Noah or Kira

2007-06-27T22:00:00.001-07:00

June 27, 2007

Dear Noah or Kira,

Oh precious little one....you are already so loved. I know that I should not be as excited as I am that you may one day call me "Mommy", but I can't help it. From the moment today that I knew that you exist, I just can't help but become attached to you. If you should go home to live with your birth parents, I will be O.K. with that, but I will also be devastated, there is no doubt about it! I definitely want to call you my son or daughter. Your Dad and I have been trying for many years to have a little brother or sister for your big brother, Ian. We are so excited that we finally might have the chance to bring you home with us in February. Oh, how we pray for that to happen!! I want you to know that we love you so much that we have already named you. You are wanted so much that we have already picked out a color for your nursery and have made plans to paint it! I am overjoyed at the thought of holding you for the first time, and meeting you face-to-face. I can't wait to be your mother.

Love,
Mommy

Prayer for the Baby

2007-06-27T21:51:00.001-07:00

June 27, 2007

Dear Heavenly Father,

Please surround Baby Kira or Noah with your protection and love. Please help the baby to be healthy and strong, and to grow appropriately. We pray that the ultrasound scheduled for Friday will show that the baby has a heartbeat, and that the gestational sac is proportional to the age of the fetus. Please be with J & D, and uphold them with your peace and grace. Please help Jim and me to be mindful of J & D's feelings, and to always keep their best interests at heart. Please be with D, and, if at all possible, please lessen her morning sickness. Dear Lord, please help me to not get too excited, because I know that I couldn't take it if I get my hopes up too high, and then my dreams are dashed. Please help me to deal with this anxiousness in a positive way.

In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen.

Today we heard the news

2007-06-27T21:36:00.000-07:00

Oh WOW.

I can't believe this. It is almost unreal. Today, J & D told me that they would like for us to adopt THEIR baby. I CANNOT BELIEVE IT. After 2 1/2 years of trying to conceive a baby, I am too scared to even think that it could be true. It is too good to be true. I am too excited to even sleep, and so I am creating this blog as a keepsake for baby "Noah Alexander" or "Kira Alexandria". I am also going to keep a separate prayer journal for the baby. Some of these prayers will also be included on this blog. I am amazed and humbled by the choice that J & D have made. I will forever be thankful for their decision. I am in awe of this entire process, and I give thanks to God for creating this life. What a blessing!

Kristina